The Great Defrost

There are certain truths hidden deep within our hearts that we are not yet ready to touch. For the most part, we live on a surface level of awareness and experience, too afraid to plumb the rich, unknown depths of our spirit.
I have lived my life under the guise of a “warm and loving” persona and that is not completely untrue. However, of late, I have discovered an aspect of my being that I have not fully been aware of - the part of my heart that has been frozen in disappointment and hurt.

It has obviously not chosen to bother me until now - now when a new season is stirring and the temperature of a fresh awakening is rising. How could I not have known that I was living life numb - cocooned in a cold, safe, enclave where voices are muffled and laughter is sifted through the distortions of remembered pain?

Maybe I did know - maybe I believed the lie that all artists need to live a sad, angst ridden existence in order to truly feel and express the extremities of the human condition.

This revelation shone on me in noon-day-clarity when I recently watched an art movie with my friends called: “Last Chance Harvey”, wherein a seasoned Dustin Hoffman (aka Harvey Shine) recounts the experience of a life almost lost to equally living below existence Emma Thompson (aka Kate).

In a poignant closing scene, she tells the man that challenges all her cynical beliefs about life and love: “I’m more comfortable with being disappointed. I’m angry with you for trying to take that away.”

Truth is, I don’t want to entertain the lie of loss any longer.

Feel like its time for the sweet dawn of Light and Life to bathe me in newness and bestow upon me the vestige of true power - to melt away my every defense until I am wrapped in Love and am declared free (for real) at long last.

Defrosting is not a ‘bad’ thing in and of itself.

Granted, it is not the most glamorous stage of life to find oneself in, yet it is certainly one of the most liberating. In nature, this marvellous phenomenon occurs at a time of change, in the silent shiftings of seasons. You never see a tree brown and barren one day and green and gleeful the next. The transformation happens slowly, imperceptibly, eventually erupting into a happy newness in readiness for a glorious new season.

Nothing is ever wasted either - every dreary and dull winter invests its far share into the great beauty of growth - trees grow a little taller, expand a little wider, lengthen their roots into the ground a little deeper. All of this happens in the icy frozenness until one day, the incremental increase in temperature produces consistent heat over an extended period of time, causing a crack of separation from the old to the new.

Aaaaahhhh.

Growth. Maturity. Freedom.